Why do pirates make excellent fishermen? They know how to hook the big ones.

Where do pirates find their birds? Parrots Without Partners.

Did you hear about the pirate's parrot that fell in love with a duck? The bird kept saying, "Polly wants a quacker".

Why couldn't the young pirate see the R-rated movie? There was no parrot-al guidance.

Why should pirates work for FedEx? They have the fastest ships in the shipping business.

What's it called when a pirate's sloop runs aground? It's ship out of luck.

Why don't pirates use a safe deposit box? They put their valuables in Davy Jones' Locker.

Who's the pirate's favorite actress? Diane Cannon.

Why did the pirate refuse to say, "Aye, Aye, Captain"? Because he's only got one eye.

What's the pirate's favorite restaurant? Trick question because it's either Jolly Roger or Long John Silver's.

How could the pirate acquire the ship so cheaply? Because it was on sail.

Why did the pirate not learn how to bowl? He had a severe hook.

Who was the pirate's favorite musician? Carlos Bandana.

Why couldn't the pirate stop thinking about sailing? He had ship for brains.

What has 12 arms, 12 legs and 12 eyes? A dozen pirates.